I wanted to touch upon an important topic in relation to the medicine –

Intimacy, Sex and the Medicine.

Let’s start with Sex and the Medicine – there should be NO sex involved in the medicine. None. If a Maestro, Shaman, Leader, Guru, staff or other participant tells you that sex is a part of Ayahuasca or that you need to have sex for your healing or just asks you for sex – it’s a hard no and depending on the situation, you may want to leave when it is safe to. It is incredibly sad and angering to me that too many “shamans” have used this medicine and others like it to prey upon participants. So let’s be clear…

Can the medicine be sexual? Yes, it can. 

Can it make you feel sexual feelings? Yes.

Can the Medicine show you sexual images/ fantasies? Yes.

Can old sexual memories be brought up? Yes.

Can you sometimes be shown disturbing images – like REALLY disturbing/disgusting/why the hell am I seeing these kinds of images? Yep. 

But actual, physical sexual touching, intercourse or masturbation is NOT a part of the medicine.

Sex is a healthy part of life, so this is not a judgement on sex or sexuality.  Sex is a natural and wonderful expression of love, connection, and fun. However, in general, we have a lot of sexual issues to heal as a culture and as a world. There is a lot of confusion, hurt, abuse, manipulation and so forth around sex for many people.  Sex will probably come up in the medicine at some point in your journey if not quite a bit.  You may be shown things and feel things on the Medicine that are sexual in nature. Because of our unhealthy relationship with sex, we can take these sexual visions and translate them into all kinds of thoughts like…

 “Oh, that must mean I should have sex with that person.” 

” OMG, there must be something wrong with me that I am seeing this!”

“This means that person and I now have a cosmic connection and are meant for each other”

“Aya is telling me that that person has feelings for me”. 

None of these are true.  The Medicine is using that person/image as a symbol.   Often Aya will use whatever it can to get an emotional reaction out of us – to get us to FEEL something. Sometimes those feelings are bliss and sometimes they are horror but, in the end, it is the feeling not the images/fantasy/vision that got us there that is important. Let me repeat that – In general, it is the FEELING(S) that are important NOT the vision/fantasy or images that are used to get us to react. It is the feeling(s) and the beliefs/patterns they bring up that we need to work with, process, integrate and release. 

The Medicine may also give you insights into how to heal your relationship with sex and your body but that does not translate into having sex with anyone during, right after or even on a retreat.  You are very spiritually and energetically open and mentally altered when you take Aya which means it is not the time to be sharing a sacred energy x-change (sex) with anyone. 

What about Intimacy?  It is a sad fact that in our culture we have limited intimacy to sex.  We have connected so much of our worth and lovability to our desirability and our society has hyper-sexualized us into all kinds of unhealthy beliefs and behaviors. This is a great loss for us.  

Intimacy is about vulnerability and connection, not sex. We can experience intimacy with a stranger, a friend, family, a community or a sexual partner. By only connecting intimacy with sex, we have cut ourselves off from heartfelt connections outside a sexual context that can offer deep healing and support with and from other humans.

There is a lot of opportunity in the Medicine to feel intimacy with yourself, your fellow passengers, the staff and Spirit(s). Doing this kind of deep work opens us to the energies of Love, connection, safety and growth. You may feel more connected to your fellow participants than some of the closest people in your life. This can be both wonderful and uncomfortable, especially if you are not used to allowing people to love and care about you without it being translated into something more.  Sometimes it can be confusing for participants who have never have this type of non-sexual loving care and support and they may develop “crushes” on staff members or other participants.  This is natural and will resolve once the participant begins to heal and realizes that there is more than one way to love and be loved.  

Allowing ourselves to be loved, safely and un-sexually, is such a beautiful healing. Allowing others to care for us, cheer us on, support us, even hold us or hug us can be both terrifying and liberating as we realize that we are lovable and worthy of connection outside of our desirability as a sexual being. Finding safe and healthy human connection is a large of our healing journey.

So, what can take away from this –

• Physical sex/sexual touch is a hard no in Aya. 
• If you ever feel uncomfortable with something happening in the ceremony, use your voice to communicate with those in charge.
• If you have sexual visions/feelings/fantasy in you journeys lean into the feelings and underlying beliefs/patterns to process, integrate and release the themes that are being shown to you. 
• It can be natural for participants to sometimes have feelings for the Staff or another participant simply because they are in a very open state and may never have experienced being cared for in a non-sexual way. Speak to a staff member to talk it out and get clear and be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to process and release old ideas and patterns about love and connection. 
• Be open to experiencing intimacy with yourself and others during ceremony and in life in general. Allow yourself to connect with others on a deep level without it having to be sexual in nature. Remember that you are loveable and worthy for just BEING you. 

I know this topic can be a sensitive and perhaps even a confusing one.  If you find yourself with questions, please feel free to reach out to me. It is one of the core values of SOLA that we create a Safe and Sacred experience for our community.